If at the end of this programme, they give us a performance rating...my ability to blog/contact home will certainly be one of my weak points. I realize that its not fair to people back home, and I am very sorry...i cant even try to justify it. I could say that I have been busy, tired, etc.....but those arent valid excuses for going 3months without blogging. That being said...strap yourself down, shave your head, wet a sponge, and flip the switch...your in for a truthocution....
This whole year has been one of challenges...not challenges meaning, that I have been frustrated and depressed all year...but challenges in that I have had the opportunity to really examine why I do what I do, who I am, what I believe, and why I believe (lame lame lame....). Obviously this blog is hardly the outlet for all these thoughts...and I do not have the time and energy to write them all down...but in short, the challenges that I have faced here have made the thought of returning home (back to normal) very difficult to fathom at this point...
before i left...a lot of people came up to me and said, "Kyle, your going to do great things when your out there...blah blah blah." I appreciated their encouragement, and their confidence in my abilities to make a difference, but I feel that I may have not lived up to their (or my own) expectations of, "making a difference."
First off, I did not feel like I was needed at all when I arrived here. This is a humbling feeling for me. I love to lead, I love to teach, I love to help, I love to guide, I love to be in charge, (i love to be needed). However, it seemed like all these positions were filled when I got here. There was no need for the skills I brought to the table....at least in MY eyes. This was the first challenge i faced when i got here, and it is likely the biggest one I faced. I had to eventually come to the realization that mission work, and I would argue that humanitarian work in general, is not so much strictly concerned with what you are doing, and how much you are needed in a given situation, but your ability to take whatever is given to you, and make the best of it through love, patience, and grace.
It is through this realization that I have seen growth in myself, and in those around me. I have developed and attitude of serventhood, as I have had amazing opportunities to serve since being here. Even though some of these "opportunities" have been nothing glamorous, it has been an opportunity to build character. I won't go much more into how I "feel" my attitude has changed through this experience...because it is much more important that those attitudes are expressed in acitons.
I guess this blog is just the result of my gratefulness to all of you who have supported me even though I may not have "done great things," I am trusting that this experience has helped to mold me into someone who is able to do bigger things later on. I am tired now...so I must sleep.
Kyle
Highlights from the past few months
1.) CONVENTION!!!!
2.) Cape Town Trip
3.) Kids Klub Tournament
4.) Making raptor noises with anna (in honour of my brother sean)
5.) Creating songs for Wiebo with Christian
6.) Convincing Thandi to call Phil "Philbo Baggins" over the phone
7.) Finally completing "The Politics of Jesus"
8.) celebrating Christian's birthday for the first time in his 23-26 year old life
9.) How I Met your Mother
10.) Numerous excursions with various people ;)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
2 months...sorry!!
Again, I have no excuse for my lack of blogging. I recently took some time to reflect on some of the reasons why I have not blogged in so long and realized that it is because of the heat here. Because of the heat, I spend at least 20 minutes a day crying...this is about the same amount of time that it takes for me to blog...thus, crying my pain away trumps blogging. perhaps this is a slight exaggeration, but seriously now... I will bless the world with a window to my soul.
I have under 4 months left in Africa...and it feels like it might as well be tomorrow...the time is flying by, and I feel like I'm just barely getting to know my new home. I think a few more months here would be perfect...even though some people at home may not agree...
Ive recently gone through, and still kind of am going through, a very stretching time in my time here in Africa. Aside from the heat and the fact that I spend most of my time outside digging holes...I have had to come to the painful realization that what I "DO" is not really that big of a deal. This is not to say that what I do doesn't serve a purpose...but that what I DO is secondary to many other things that may become of this experience here in Africa.
Essentially, I believe this is what missions as a whole is all about. Its time to stop focusing strictly on feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, evangelism, saving the lost...etc. All of these things are good, and serve a part in missions...but its time to look past these relatively short sighted goals. You can feed a child one day and call it missions, but the next day...he/she may be hungry again. You can convert someone to Christianity, but that doesn't mean anything unless you walk with him/her for a while. This mentality is not easily swallowed for many people. I have an extremely hard time seeing "what I do" as secondary to the bigger picture that God has planned, not just for me, but for the world. I want to believe that what I do matters, and I want to love what I do. So, it was tough for me to realize that as Christians desperate to serve God in any way that we can, its time to look past ourselves and look past short term effects of what we "DO" and realize that until we can love our neighbors and recognize the humanity in each other...there is no hope of true missions work taking place.
I feel like there should be more to say on this...but I think this is it for tonight. I'm tired...and very very hungry (this week I am fasting....i hate it). Its becoming a little cooler now!! The days of deadly heat have moved on...and I'm looking forward to my first winter in Africa!!
Kyle
I have under 4 months left in Africa...and it feels like it might as well be tomorrow...the time is flying by, and I feel like I'm just barely getting to know my new home. I think a few more months here would be perfect...even though some people at home may not agree...
Ive recently gone through, and still kind of am going through, a very stretching time in my time here in Africa. Aside from the heat and the fact that I spend most of my time outside digging holes...I have had to come to the painful realization that what I "DO" is not really that big of a deal. This is not to say that what I do doesn't serve a purpose...but that what I DO is secondary to many other things that may become of this experience here in Africa.
Essentially, I believe this is what missions as a whole is all about. Its time to stop focusing strictly on feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, evangelism, saving the lost...etc. All of these things are good, and serve a part in missions...but its time to look past these relatively short sighted goals. You can feed a child one day and call it missions, but the next day...he/she may be hungry again. You can convert someone to Christianity, but that doesn't mean anything unless you walk with him/her for a while. This mentality is not easily swallowed for many people. I have an extremely hard time seeing "what I do" as secondary to the bigger picture that God has planned, not just for me, but for the world. I want to believe that what I do matters, and I want to love what I do. So, it was tough for me to realize that as Christians desperate to serve God in any way that we can, its time to look past ourselves and look past short term effects of what we "DO" and realize that until we can love our neighbors and recognize the humanity in each other...there is no hope of true missions work taking place.
I feel like there should be more to say on this...but I think this is it for tonight. I'm tired...and very very hungry (this week I am fasting....i hate it). Its becoming a little cooler now!! The days of deadly heat have moved on...and I'm looking forward to my first winter in Africa!!
Kyle
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I apologize already for the intensity of this post...
BCI has initiated a more intensive congregational prayer schedule, that now occupies my monday evenings, tuesday-thursday mornings (5-6 am) and my friday nights. While attending one of the prayer meetings, the pastor invited the congregation to experience "an outpouring of God's love" over all the congregation...an immersion. While the pastor prayed...and I watched as people seemed overwhelmed by what they were experiencing, I wondered what the love of God looks like? I have no doubt that God's love takes many forms...but for the Church, God's love should take a much more radical, altruistic form...looking for creative ways to show this love that has graciously been given to them for free!
God's love is really what Christian spirituality comes down to...it is what binds us together in community, it is what propels us into the mission field, it can help us through whatever were going through. However, sometimes the Church can get caught up in debates that do nothing to show God's love (gay marriage immediately comes to mind), these debates often expose an ugly, hypocritical side of Christianity. I'm not saying that these issues don't require addressing, I just think that while there are people suffering next door to us, these issues can (and likely will) wait.
In the end, if the world wide church (specifically the North American Church) wants to remain relevant for years to come, it must embrace the love of God, and fully understand that if we (the church) have the love of God within us, we have no choice but to move it outwards towards the rest of the world. This should affect how we do everything from grocery shopping, to politics. We need to start thinking of creative ways to live in a system that has been corrupted by greed, racism, religion (in ways), and selfishness, in order to serve a minority that reaps the benefits. The Church must become a social conscience once again.
Ok, enough of this...lets move on to something a little less deep. Here is a list of songs that I think you must listen to. They are my top 10songs from the year of 2009!
10.) Serpentine - Chris Bathgate
9.) For me, This is Heaven - Foreverinmotion
8.) Gimme Sympathy - Metric
7.) Until Morning - DC
6.) Medisin - The Classic Crime
5.) True Love - Angels and Airwaves
4.) Running up That Hill - Placebo
3.) Desperate Times, Desperate Measures - Underoath
2.) Stolen - DC
1.) Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
Hope you enjoy!
BCI has initiated a more intensive congregational prayer schedule, that now occupies my monday evenings, tuesday-thursday mornings (5-6 am) and my friday nights. While attending one of the prayer meetings, the pastor invited the congregation to experience "an outpouring of God's love" over all the congregation...an immersion. While the pastor prayed...and I watched as people seemed overwhelmed by what they were experiencing, I wondered what the love of God looks like? I have no doubt that God's love takes many forms...but for the Church, God's love should take a much more radical, altruistic form...looking for creative ways to show this love that has graciously been given to them for free!
God's love is really what Christian spirituality comes down to...it is what binds us together in community, it is what propels us into the mission field, it can help us through whatever were going through. However, sometimes the Church can get caught up in debates that do nothing to show God's love (gay marriage immediately comes to mind), these debates often expose an ugly, hypocritical side of Christianity. I'm not saying that these issues don't require addressing, I just think that while there are people suffering next door to us, these issues can (and likely will) wait.
In the end, if the world wide church (specifically the North American Church) wants to remain relevant for years to come, it must embrace the love of God, and fully understand that if we (the church) have the love of God within us, we have no choice but to move it outwards towards the rest of the world. This should affect how we do everything from grocery shopping, to politics. We need to start thinking of creative ways to live in a system that has been corrupted by greed, racism, religion (in ways), and selfishness, in order to serve a minority that reaps the benefits. The Church must become a social conscience once again.
Ok, enough of this...lets move on to something a little less deep. Here is a list of songs that I think you must listen to. They are my top 10songs from the year of 2009!
10.) Serpentine - Chris Bathgate
9.) For me, This is Heaven - Foreverinmotion
8.) Gimme Sympathy - Metric
7.) Until Morning - DC
6.) Medisin - The Classic Crime
5.) True Love - Angels and Airwaves
4.) Running up That Hill - Placebo
3.) Desperate Times, Desperate Measures - Underoath
2.) Stolen - DC
1.) Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
Hope you enjoy!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Holiday Blog
The past few weeks have been BEAUTIFUL here in SA! We spent a lot of time with friends, celebrated the holidays, and got to travel down the coast for Menno Retreat 2010! We also have only recently Obviously, celebrating the holidays in another country, very very far away from family is bittersweet experience, but luckily, the sweet out weighed the bitter in this case! Also, I was able to see how amazing and hospitable the people from church are, as they had no problem having us over for meals and even having us down for Christmas day! Here are some of the highlights from the past few weeks:
1.) Being invited down for many many meals. It was such a blessing through and through.
2.) Being outside at 2 in the morning on new years in shorts and a t-shirt...and still being hot.
3.) Capturing the "Goulet award" at Menno Retreat 2010 by means of dominating "The Suderman Race" created by Andrew and Karen Suderman.
4.) Having NO carpenters working outside our door...thus waking up to relative silence.
5.) Praying in the new year at church....very cool.
6.) Going for a run at 5 am on new years day....losing my key to get in...waiting outside for about an hour until Gabby finally poked Anna through the window in order to wake her up. She wasn't happy.
7.) Initiating our first (of hopefully many) Ultimate Frisbee days with some friends.
8.) Going skating in Durban....be cautioned, Skating is a VERY strong term used to describe what we were capable of doing on that ice.
9.) Going to the beach a few times and continuing to get owned by the sun every single time.
10.) Not singing Christmas songs on christmas morning...there's a first for everything.
This is a short, not so deep blog entry....but hopefully (if i find time in my very very busy schedule) I will post a more meaningful blog post! Hope all is well for you guys...and thanks for following!
1.) Being invited down for many many meals. It was such a blessing through and through.
2.) Being outside at 2 in the morning on new years in shorts and a t-shirt...and still being hot.
3.) Capturing the "Goulet award" at Menno Retreat 2010 by means of dominating "The Suderman Race" created by Andrew and Karen Suderman.
4.) Having NO carpenters working outside our door...thus waking up to relative silence.
5.) Praying in the new year at church....very cool.
6.) Going for a run at 5 am on new years day....losing my key to get in...waiting outside for about an hour until Gabby finally poked Anna through the window in order to wake her up. She wasn't happy.
7.) Initiating our first (of hopefully many) Ultimate Frisbee days with some friends.
8.) Going skating in Durban....be cautioned, Skating is a VERY strong term used to describe what we were capable of doing on that ice.
9.) Going to the beach a few times and continuing to get owned by the sun every single time.
10.) Not singing Christmas songs on christmas morning...there's a first for everything.
This is a short, not so deep blog entry....but hopefully (if i find time in my very very busy schedule) I will post a more meaningful blog post! Hope all is well for you guys...and thanks for following!
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