Last entry from Africa???

If at the end of this programme, they give us a performance rating...my ability to blog/contact home will certainly be one of my weak points. I realize that its not fair to people back home, and I am very sorry...i cant even try to justify it. I could say that I have been busy, tired, etc.....but those arent valid excuses for going 3months without blogging. That being said...strap yourself down, shave your head, wet a sponge, and flip the switch...your in for a truthocution....

This whole year has been one of challenges...not challenges meaning, that I have been frustrated and depressed all year...but challenges in that I have had the opportunity to really examine why I do what I do, who I am, what I believe, and why I believe (lame lame lame....). Obviously this blog is hardly the outlet for all these thoughts...and I do not have the time and energy to write them all down...but in short, the challenges that I have faced here have made the thought of returning home (back to normal) very difficult to fathom at this point...

before i left...a lot of people came up to me and said, "Kyle, your going to do great things when your out there...blah blah blah." I appreciated their encouragement, and their confidence in my abilities to make a difference, but I feel that I may have not lived up to their (or my own) expectations of, "making a difference."

First off, I did not feel like I was needed at all when I arrived here. This is a humbling feeling for me. I love to lead, I love to teach, I love to help, I love to guide, I love to be in charge, (i love to be needed). However, it seemed like all these positions were filled when I got here. There was no need for the skills I brought to the table....at least in MY eyes. This was the first challenge i faced when i got here, and it is likely the biggest one I faced. I had to eventually come to the realization that mission work, and I would argue that humanitarian work in general, is not so much strictly concerned with what you are doing, and how much you are needed in a given situation, but your ability to take whatever is given to you, and make the best of it through love, patience, and grace.

It is through this realization that I have seen growth in myself, and in those around me. I have developed and attitude of serventhood, as I have had amazing opportunities to serve since being here. Even though some of these "opportunities" have been nothing glamorous, it has been an opportunity to build character. I won't go much more into how I "feel" my attitude has changed through this experience...because it is much more important that those attitudes are expressed in acitons.

I guess this blog is just the result of my gratefulness to all of you who have supported me even though I may not have "done great things," I am trusting that this experience has helped to mold me into someone who is able to do bigger things later on. I am tired now...so I must sleep.

Kyle

Highlights from the past few months

1.) CONVENTION!!!!
2.) Cape Town Trip
3.) Kids Klub Tournament
4.) Making raptor noises with anna (in honour of my brother sean)
5.) Creating songs for Wiebo with Christian
6.) Convincing Thandi to call Phil "Philbo Baggins" over the phone
7.) Finally completing "The Politics of Jesus"
8.) celebrating Christian's birthday for the first time in his 23-26 year old life
9.) How I Met your Mother
10.) Numerous excursions with various people ;)