Again, I have no excuse for my lack of blogging. I recently took some time to reflect on some of the reasons why I have not blogged in so long and realized that it is because of the heat here. Because of the heat, I spend at least 20 minutes a day crying...this is about the same amount of time that it takes for me to blog...thus, crying my pain away trumps blogging. perhaps this is a slight exaggeration, but seriously now... I will bless the world with a window to my soul.
I have under 4 months left in Africa...and it feels like it might as well be tomorrow...the time is flying by, and I feel like I'm just barely getting to know my new home. I think a few more months here would be perfect...even though some people at home may not agree...
Ive recently gone through, and still kind of am going through, a very stretching time in my time here in Africa. Aside from the heat and the fact that I spend most of my time outside digging holes...I have had to come to the painful realization that what I "DO" is not really that big of a deal. This is not to say that what I do doesn't serve a purpose...but that what I DO is secondary to many other things that may become of this experience here in Africa.
Essentially, I believe this is what missions as a whole is all about. Its time to stop focusing strictly on feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, evangelism, saving the lost...etc. All of these things are good, and serve a part in missions...but its time to look past these relatively short sighted goals. You can feed a child one day and call it missions, but the next day...he/she may be hungry again. You can convert someone to Christianity, but that doesn't mean anything unless you walk with him/her for a while. This mentality is not easily swallowed for many people. I have an extremely hard time seeing "what I do" as secondary to the bigger picture that God has planned, not just for me, but for the world. I want to believe that what I do matters, and I want to love what I do. So, it was tough for me to realize that as Christians desperate to serve God in any way that we can, its time to look past ourselves and look past short term effects of what we "DO" and realize that until we can love our neighbors and recognize the humanity in each other...there is no hope of true missions work taking place.
I feel like there should be more to say on this...but I think this is it for tonight. I'm tired...and very very hungry (this week I am fasting....i hate it). Its becoming a little cooler now!! The days of deadly heat have moved on...and I'm looking forward to my first winter in Africa!!
Kyle
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I really resonate with this Kyle. I'm a big do-er, I always feel like my hands should to be doing something to feel that I've made a difference. I've had a lot of opportunity this year to just be, and not do, which has been a great breather. Now, I've started to go to school more days to gain experience working with special needs children, but as I'm extra, I'm often just observing, and not actually expected to do anything at least not yet. Which is really awkward some times. But, I think I'm learning that just being sometimes is ok too. A boy in the class I work with most days asked me why I would leave home and my family to come HERE? Even a 7-year-old boy notices that I'm doing something when all I seem to be doing is sitting at a table while they draw a picture. Anyways, enjoy your African winter!
ReplyDeleteAre there good parts to being? not doing? for you, Kyle?
ReplyDeleteI to resonate with your words Kyle. There is so much pressure to go on "missions trips" and "Do" something for those who are suffering. But what often happens is that by us spending huge amounts of money to go halfway across the world we're sometimes taking jobs from skilled labourers who are desperately needing work. I thinking that "Doing" missions needs to switch to "being" missions. Sending someone on missions might not "Do" much physically for the people who we are going to, or even spiritually for that matter, but if it allows one to experience and begin to understand what is really going on in the world, then it is perhaps a worthwhile endevour. It's not about going and doing for a short time and then going home. It's about adopting love as your primarily goal in life...love of self, love of neighbour, love of God and through that love, shown wherever your are we hopefully stop doing and start being. Praying for you today Kyle!
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